I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
