But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
