Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
