Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
