the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
