woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
