im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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