I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
