didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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