My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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