she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
