Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
