Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Randomize
