he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
