i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
