no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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