did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
