remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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