True but thats because hes a fetus.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
