did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
