Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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