so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
