loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
