I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
