dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
