Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
