make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
