Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
