Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
