I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Even my vagina gasped.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
