I don't think brook has ever known best
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
