Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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