So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
