whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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