literally had 100 drinks last night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
