Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
