honey bunches of taint.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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