guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
