I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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