I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize