Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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