That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
false alarm. still invincible.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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