what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he was CRYING into my vagina
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You need a sexual gate keeper
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
