from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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