Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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