I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
