Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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