Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
