Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
