is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize