just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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