I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
