is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
