WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
