hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize