My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
