Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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