Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
