i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
