even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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