I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
