i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wear drunk well.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
