some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
