How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize