Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
