Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
time to smoke my breakfast
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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