And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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