well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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