Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
